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its been probably almost about a year since i've posted in here. but i figured, why the hell not. i've got a lot on my mind.

lately things have been hectic, i've been making terrible decisions and horrible mistakes leading to paths of distrust and hostility. every day its a new adventure of who hates me that day for whatever i did/did not do to them.

i'm sorry, i'm human. and i make mistakes. especially within the last month. i apologize to anyone i ever hurt and i apologize to everyone who now has to see me differently and worry about what i will do to them. this isn't the case.

i like this boy. so stupid of me to do so. he has a girlfreind. not like that even means anything to him. what the hell happend to when people actually fucking cared about what they were doing? why cant anyone be loyal? cant trust anyone anymore. why like a boy who you know isnt loyal? you think you want him for you but if you had him he would do the same thing to you. cant help it though.



i'm done playing the backstabbing game wth dani. we are best freinds and that is that. and i'm going to be there for her when she needs it and i'm going to try to open myself up more to her because i know i'm a brick and i shut out the world.





goooodnight!
 
 
 
 
 
 
i need to be saved.
 
 
 
 
 
 
i suck.
 
 
 
 
 
 
so i'm sitting at mv bored, and should be doing my homework but dont want to, so i decided id update this thing seeing as EVERYONE SHOULD.
nothings really been going on, i don't work at subway anymore. i am most likely getting a job at applebee's. that will be good maybe i will get good money for waitressing.

hmm... i think i am going to gosee ghost rider today... i dont know if i think it looks good or not, but oh well. i saw the number 23 and that movie is amazing though. i want to go see it again.

i remember that summer that i saw napoleon dynomite 7 times in theatres. we were dumb. and i got my shoe thrown across the theatre one of those times. that summer was fun.

myspace won't load.

i have been keeping journals (real ones) since i was around 9 years old. i was thinking that when i get older like 60's or 70's that i will write a book. because i plan to keep a journal for my whole life and then it would be kinda cool to write a memoir book about my life.

ah well, thats my thoughts for today.
 
 
 
 
 
 
yo elllll-jayyyyyyy lets make a comeback
 
 
 
 
 
 
one year eight months five days.
you should be here.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Everything you do has an impact on me.


and here's to ten cents (one nickel and five pennies) that will never be spent.
 
 
 
 
 
 
You put yourself in stupid places
Yes I think you know its true
Situations where its easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim
Almost every single day

You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be
Everything to everyone

Yeah you do it again
You always do it again

You say they taught you how to read and write
Yeah, they taught you how to count
I say they taught you how to buy and sell
Your own body by the pound
I think you like to be their simple toy
I think you love to play the clown
I think you are blind to the fact
That the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down

You do what you do
You say what you say
You always try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be everything to everyone

Spin around and fall down, do it again
You stumble and you fall
Yeah why dont you ever learn
Spin around and fall down, do it again
Yeah, you stumble and you fall
I wonder if you will ever learn

Why wont you ever learn

Come on now, do that stupid dance for me

You do what they tell you to do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You jump through the big hoop
You play all the right games
You try to be everything to everyone

Spin around and fall down, do it again
You stumble and you fall
Yeah you do it again
Spin around and fall down, do it again
You stumble and you fall
 
 
 
 
 
 
yo, fuck this thing called life. nothing ever gets better. you don't fall into a rut and gradually build yourself back up. you fall into a rut and stay there forever.